Cock Fight

A few weeks ago I moved to another house. I am living with a host family again and I could still be in the honeymoon stage but things are working out better. The man works as a rubber farmer and his wife owns a small store in front of their house. They have two kids around their 20s who are going to school. I’ve known them since I first came to visit and it’s certainly a better situation than my old place.

There’s only one drawback.

This weekend, I was having a productive day. Doing laundry, talking to villagers, and just having a grand ol' time. That is until I stepped in chicken shit.  Barefoot. This has been the 57^th time it has happened and it seems to only happen right at the front door of my house. Seriously, what kind of animal takes a dump on your front porch? With my luck, I managed to live with the family that quite possibly has the most foul fowls in the district (>40). However, I do not like Thai roosters/chickens. Listed below are the reasons why:

•           Their biological clock is broken or nonexistent so they think 10:00PM - 3:00AM is the sunrise.
•           They crap everywhere.
•           They ugly.  Even their chicks. Babies of anything are never supposed to be ugly.
•           They are smug.
•           They have annoying mannerisms.
•           Some look like those little raptors from Jurassic Park. 

Just waiting for you to trip over that log...

There is a perfectly good reason why cock fighting is legal in Thailand. Some say it's for sport or gambling or entertainment. I think it's a prime excuse to wrangle up the ugly ones and watch 'em fight. What? If they're already going to go to that big coop in the sky ("free-range farm" if you so like), then why not get two or four of them together and let them get a few licks in first before they hit the fryer? They will die with dignity and valor in the battlefield. Plus, it will save you the time to tenderize or defeather 'em. I consider that a textbook case of a Win-Win situation.

I'm not going to end with a long spiel about the positive attributes of the Thai chicken and how much benefit they have or how beautiful and majestic they can be. It's just not going to happen.

The only time I like Thai chickens are when they look like this:

Next to their ol' friends B.B.Q. and Potato "Spuds" McGee
 (Thai translation: Fish Sauce and Sticky Rice)